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jeez, i whine so much, i'm sorry

in actuality things have been going so great for me i can barely believe it. firstly i managed to get a job that i'd wanted since early last year (haha that makes it sound like so long ago) even though i've heard of others trying and failing. i really like the location and the pay is decent, so it's a real win-win. the timing's great too, getting hired after a month of partying and idling. glad to be doing some work again especially since this work i can appreciate a whole lot more.

being at one party last night and receiving a crazy phone call from another made me realise that i actually have made pretty good friends during my time spent in sajc. i guess i'll just always feel alone and have the tendency to forget this, but regardless i'm so thankful to have these great people around me. if you're reading this and you know who you are, cheers heh. corny as fuck but it's funny how true it is when they say that when one door closes another opens.

so to hell with loss piling on loss. i've received far more

last year was strewn with disappointment and self-doubt but i couldn't be more ready to let that float away now. someone told me that a way to try and feel present in a moment is to imagine a stream, take all your anxiety and imagine it floating away on a leaf. and i guess in the same way i'm imagining all the hurt i've felt in 2012 leaving me along with the year. i mean i acknowledge that symbolism is bullshit and that today isn't actually any different from yesterday but for really long i just wanted 2012 to end so badly and now it has

optimism is odd for me it's rare that i ever feel this refreshed but anyway i'm so glad the year is over

can't wait for my genting trip tomorrow and my next shift this weekend, to settle down with my new job, earn some money and spend more time with people i like. here's to hoping that 2013 will be better. right now it seems great